The many nicknames of a dog

Our dogs all have nicknames, but one in particular has more nicknames than about any dog I know. And he will answer to all of them. He's a very, very bright boy. Too bright, in fact.

So let's talk about Dodger. He was named Dodger because he was dodging cars on the parkway in Brooklyn, and also because he came from Brooklyn, that makes him a Dodger. Alright, alright, the Dodgers left Brooklyn long ago...but it still works.

So anyway...when we brought him home, his sisters already had "e" nicknames: Ber-nick-E and Moosie. So naturally we had to give Dodger an "e" name, too, so he wouldn't feel left out. Thus, Dodger Lee. Or Lee Dog. Or just plain Lee. This led to D. Lee Dog, which sounded very official. Or shortened, just D. Lee. Of course, D. Lee Dog had other implications. After all, he's a boy, and he has a dealie - a very LARGE dealie. If he were human, he'd make John Holmes blush. So then it was Dealie Dog, "the dog with a dealie." Or Dodger Wadd.

Because he is obsessive/compulsive, he licks himself quite often, and he cleans himself like a cat; so, KittyCat Dog. He's small and brown so we call him Little Brown Dog. He also goes by LBD. Or Mr. Brown. Little Man. Dodgie. And then, of course, the requisite Jewish names since his rescuer daddy is Jewish: Leestein (that's pronounced 'steen'). Leibowitz. Leeberg. As I said, he will answer to any one of these names.

Because his name ends in "er", you could pronounce it as French: we say "Do-zhay." And because we call him Lee Dog, we'd imagine that as French also, as Le Dog. Now, as you may know, the French don't pronounce "le" as "Lee", it's actually pronounced somewhere between "Lou" and "Luh"; so we can just say "Le" and he will come running. Yes, it's disturbing, I know. And we did it to him. Well, I did that one to him.

One thing he won't come running to: "Dog" or "dogs." He doesn't consider himself a dog and he won't answer to anything except his name or nicknames. If we call "Hey, dogs!" we also have to say, "Hey, Dodger!" or we'll only get two of the three.

I'm sure there will be more names in the future, and there are some I have probably forgotten to include here. But for now, these are the Dogs of our Lives.